Messenger now has virtual monkeys, courtesy of Yahoo

What’s a poor beleaguered brand like Yahoo to do? Use its smart engineers to jump on the hottest trend, of course. Today the company is launching a bot that simulates a pet monkey for Facebook Messenger. Oh, and a few slightly more useful bots, too, like ones that will tell you about the weather, latest news and how your stock portfolio is performing.

The company is today announcing a series of bots to help keep your inbox stuffed full of more or less useful information.

I love big bots, and I cannot lie

The new bots include a Yahoo Finance bot to help you stay in the know with the latest movers and shakers on the stock market, with the option to read finance news, play games (!) and share your best stock tips with your friends. And, y’know, your worst stock tips with people you don’t like very much.

Yahoo Weather, News and Finance, respectively

Yahoo Weather, News and Finance, respectively

If money isn’t your thing, but news is, you’re still in good hands with Yahoo — the Yahoo News bot shares trending stories with you, or you can use it to search for topics you’re excited about.

I now have a monkey pet called Mr Monkey. I'm imaginative like that.

I now have a monkey pet called Mr Monkey. I’m imaginative like that.

For those passionate about clairvoyance in the temperature and humidity sector, Yahoo has a third bot that can help you figure out whether you need to pack an umbrella or sunscreen; the Yahoo Weather bot also integrates with Flickr to help bring the weather forecasts to life with images.

If you hate weather, politics, news, money, other people and life in general, don’t you worry your wonderful, sunny self: Yahoo has the perfect bot for you, as well. Monkeypet is a Tamagotchi-style virtual pet robot that thinks he’s a monkey and will send you emoji-laden selfies from its travels around the world, if you feed it a steady diet of food emoji.